Today I am bringing you author, Vicki Batman.
Not only is she sharing her "Laugh out Loud" story, Temporarily Employed,
with us, she offers a bit of advice on whining too.
Please join me in welcoming Vicki.
Recently, Handsome and I attended a conference, and the opening speaker was hilarious. Her main topic was “Stop Global Whining.” So that had me wondering: Are we a society of global whiners? Am I a whiner?
I know my friend and I whine a lot to each other as we go to our workout. It’s more making fun of situations for a good laugh; yet, in truth, we are whining.
For example: last night, I dropped my yoga stuff in my usual spot, bought a new attendance package, and went back to the room to layout my things only to find some new chick had taken my spot. Didn’t she see my things?
I really wanted to whine. But I didn’t. My friend wasn’t there. Lol
The other day, Handsome and I were going home and some idiot in their car made a terrible turn, just safe enough to avoid hitting the car next to ours. We started in on him. Who taught him how to drive? Whoever it was, was a terrible teacher. Bet he runs lights all the time? And did you see the dents in his fenders?
Then we remembered what the speaker had to say to turn the situation around: make up a story.
I can do that! I write stories.
So we said his mom was sick and in the hospital and nothing else mattered but getting to her side as quickly as possible. OR his dog jumped in his lap and hot coffee drenched his pants. A wasp somehow got in his car, his windows were up and the darn thing was buzzing too close for comfort.
I used to say to my youngest when he was little, “Are you being a whiny butt-ass brat?” (He was.) The funny thing is our family began using that question on each other and we began to laugh.
Life is too short and should be more fun. Laughing is way better than whining.
New Job. New Love. And Murder.
Hattie Cook's dream job is down the toilet and her new SUV violated. Desperate for cash to cover the basic necessities of rent and food, she takes a temporary job where she uncovers an embezzling scam tied to the death of a former employee--the very one she replaced.
When the police determine there's more to the death of a former Buy Rite employee, Detective Allan Charles Wellborn steps in to lead the investigation. Overly dedicated, always perfect, he puts his job first, even if doing so ultimately hurts the one he loves.
Can the killer be found before Hattie's time is up?
Pretty much covered the whole freakin’ day.
A blinding red-white, red-white strobe, reflected in my brand new Wrangler’s rearview mirror, seized my attention. The police. I tossed my hands skyward, ready to surrender. I shouldn’t have been too surprised. Like I'd commented this a.m. to my roommate, Jenny, “Today, anything’s possible.”
My Bad Day checklist included:
- Crappy job interview, one which might have provided desperately needed income.
- Wore gut-busting panty hose on a hot day which had now worked past my waist and strangled my diaphragm.
- A barely blowing air conditioner indicated something had malfunctioned in my new, fun car.
I stole another glance in the mirror, and with great reluctance, flipped the right turn indicator. My vehicle coasted to a stop on the shoulder of Boston Avenue in my hometown of Sommerville, a nice suburb located between two large cities. Four lanes of cars and trucks zipped by as I sat there where every single one of my family, friends, friends’ friends, and their friends—including Rat Fink Suzanne—would see a police vehicle positioned right behind mine. Gleefully, drivers would chant the “Ha-ha, got you, not me” ditty.
After killing the engine, I flopped back in the seat. Shooting the morons the finger was an idea. Nah. I'm too exhausted to care.
A litany of: "No, not hiring." "Just filled the position." "You're over qualified." "You're under qualified…" tornadoed through my head. Coupled with the intense job search through various outlets like the internet and completing numerous online employment applications, no wonder my body had been depleted of all life force.
Not even a breeze blew to take the edge off the unbearable summertime heat. Tangled wild trees and dry scrubby bushes banked the roadside. The grass had taken on a scorched look. Rolling down the driver’s window, I surveyed my surroundings. Nothing great. Nothing new.
I stole a glance in the side mirror at the policeman who strode purposefully along the shoulder. The gravel crunched under his boots. He looked huge, probably because his uniform, which appeared to be bulked with a bullet-proof vest, made him resemble a buffed-up superhero in size. Exceedingly intimidating.
Sigh. When things went wrong, they were really wrong.
Amazon ebook | Amazon paperback
The Wild Rose Press ebook | The Wild Rose Press paperback
Award-winning author, Vicki Batman, has sold many romantic comedy works to the True magazines, several publishers, and most recently, a romantic comedy mystery to The Wild Rose Press. She is a member of Romance Writers of America, Sisters in Crime, and several writing groups.
An avid Jazzerciser. Handbag lover. Mahjong player. Yoga practitioner. Movie fan. Book devourer. Cat fancier. Best Mom ever. And adores Handsome Hubby.
Most days begin with her hands set to the keyboard and thinking "What if??"
Find Vicki Batman at:
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